The Proposal.  Sandra Bullock's great, but Im not a fan of this film.  I cant see two people going from hate to love in three days, no matter what the circumstances.  Betty White was a hoot, though!  Before that was UP, which is too cute for words.

working in retail. people are assholes, man. please be kind, and remember that even if you're having an off day, there is NO NEED to take it out on the clerk checking your items out.  You bastards.

Can be such idiots.

ALSOOOO......the two guys in my life. One is a civilian, will never put himself into harms way by choice. The other's in the military, is busier than the other dude b/c of it, and goodness am i more attracted to him. My relationship with him is confusing as fuck for other reasons.

So my question is --> WHY CANT I GO WITH THE SAFER CHOICE? Why cant I go for the man that's always there, is WAY too into me, and most likely wont be blown up by an IED? Why am I disgusted by this guy?  Why does the thought of touching him make me gag?  UGH. 

And then --> Why is military guy so damned silent?  Actually, I dont even want to go into our relationship.  Complicated, but SOO not.  He's a friend, but we were originally set up and that went well so wtf????  I'm normally rather good at interpreting things.  With him, notsomuch. Ohh and the sacrificing yourself for your country is a bit of a turn on, too.

Jeez, man. And that date with the civilian was so fucking AWFUL.  I felt like curling up in a ball and crying.  And my non-date dates with milman are like an oasis.  Mhh.  Warm and fuzzy feelings.  If I am correct, milman is simply shy (knew that from the start)...but I'd rather not get my hopes up.  In any case, I'll get a good friend out of this?  Rawr!!!!  But that's not exactly waht I want.

Am also realizing I must be friends with the guy before I date him.  Whether it is with the current dude or someone in the future, I've gotta be friends with them FIRST.  I totally dont become friends with men Im not attracted to in some way. Cruel? Yea, but true.  Otherwise I just feel plain sick when I'm trying to date/be friendly/etc with you.

To become better friends with my new guy 'friend'.  He makes me happy. *sigh* So here's to hoping we get together more often - I'm off to a good start; we're supposed to see a movie on Weds.  Yay.

On another note, I'd really like to get back into my writing. :D

I fucking hate dating.  I hate it.  I want to be told who I end up with so I dont have to waste my time with everyone else. I HATE it.  I get all vulnerable for some person, and bammmm have to take it all back.  Fucking hate it.

And no, this is not coming from someone who just got turned down.  No, this is coming from someone with too many dates.  I know - all girls would like to be in my shoes, right?  WRONG. I want the one guy that I started out with.  I dont want the other guys.  Im not cheating on anyone, not doing anything fucking stupid.  Just, too many guys at one time decide to say HEY, YOU'RE HOT, lets date.  And me?  I'm thinking NO, I dont want to kiss you, hug you, hold you, touch you.  I'll take the free meal, but that's it.

So I have one guy, right?  Yes.  One that I could see myself in a fucking meaningful relationship.  He wants to take it slow, get to know each other as friends first. I totally get that because I FUCKING HATE DATING.  We were set up by friends and such. And NOWWWWWWWW

There's another guy that asks me out.  So, I say yes, why the hell not?  Maybe a date or two with this dude will make guy1s decision a lot easier, especially if I drop in that fact when we're out together.  I hate games - another fact about me. LOATHE, unless I'm actually in a relationship and it's just teasing.

I know, I'm SOOO fun to be around. -sarcasm-

So now, Im dreading this date.  Like, sick to my stomach dread.  And I know it's mostly in my head.  Because this guy IS nice, smart, etc, but he's not like my first guy.  Maybe guy2 and i will really click, i will SEE THE LIGHT, and my future will be paved before me.  RIGHT. I'd prefer going to work, thanks. 

Why the fuck did I say yes?  I'm sure anyone that bothers to read this will say GO WITH GUY2, HE'S OBVIOUSLY MORE INTO YOU, but I dont fucking care.  I'm very particular about my friends and boyfriends.  Not scarily so, but I certainly have my issues.  Maybe guy2 and I will be the more logical choice, considering the other is a flippin' marine.  Oh yea, probably so.  But I like having distance between me and...oh, perhaps I'll eat my words when guy1 is deployed.

My gut doesnt like this.  Not one bit.  My gut wants the friendship, then relationship. NOT friendship+relationship at the same time.  Eventually so, but not now.  Guess I've learned a lot about myself, even if neither of these men work out. *nods* Friendships > dating/one night stands (ew, will never do)/yeah. Fucking hate dating SOOO much.  It's now upsetting me.  Great.

I must be a freak to think this way, but so be it.  I CHOOSE YOU, GUY1, YOU ADORABLE FOOL.

My family and my freedom.  Plus I'd constantly be watching my back because I'd be afraid of getting my ass kicked by other prisoners.  Scary shit man. I never want to go to prison. 

But seriously - no freedom?  What the hell would I do with myself all day? Would I have access to learning materials?  God, I'd go insane in there.

Oh, Michael Phelps.  Shame on you?  I dont actually care.  You're young and seem pretty good-hearted - which is to me what counts. 

But seriously man - what idiot decided that weed was a "performance enhancing" drug?  What performance is being enhanced?  The one going on inside the person's head?

Turned on the radio in my car a few minutes ago and heard about a flock of geese that brought down an Airbus in the Hudson River. Damn man, that must've been freezing cold!  Thankfully, no one was killed.  It's still pretty funny - I've always wondered what would happen 'in event of a water landing'.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/01/15/new.york.plane.crash/index.html
way to go geese, way to go.

Huge kudos to the pilot, though. :)

First off, yesterday was my TWENTY_FIRST birthday. :D Feel free to cheer.  I had a few tequilla shots + some baileys irish cream + wine.  This was all after eating, so I actually felt ok.  My friends applauded the fact that I could a)walk in a straight line b) in heels.

Also:

http://www.slide.com/r/wL2i4noJ1j-8ELw177uIawTCzPeGd8sq?cy=bb

Michelle Obama's choices for inaugural ball gowns. Which would you choose?  I loved Chanel's idea!

I made New Years Resolutions!  And for once, I may even try to go through with them.  I want my life to change (for the better hopefully) and there's no way I'll do that unless I make an effort.  Here are a couple of them:

1)  Exercise more.  Every time I exercise, I feel wonderful afterwards.  I really want to tone up my stomach, but I love the feeling endorphins give me after exercise. :D

2)  Write every day - whether it's on my novels or simply an exercise.  It keeps me thinking about the story, which is usually a good thing.

3)  Swear less.  Need I say more?

-B

Anyone else completely pissed off that The Dark Knight didnt receive a Golden Globe nomination?  I mean REALLY - it was one of the best movies of the year - and it doesnt get anything?  Well, Heath Ledger got a nod for the Joker (thank god) but idk.  The movies this year sucked MAJORLY (besides a slim few) and one of the great ones doesnt get nominated?  Grrr.  Let's hope it gets an oscar nod!!


~annoyed~

What exactly is so cool/interesting/exciting about wearing ugly clothes and too-high shoes and strutting down a catwalk????  Why do people look up to these 'models'?  They're models for what?  Depression, anorexia, the *ideal* life? 

And why do those gorgeous "models" have to be emaciated? What is the attraction to that? 

http://www.ebdailynews.com/pics/padn/400xN/ebdn/2007-1-14-thin-models <----

SHE'S TOO TINY!  And not dancer tiny, on no, she has no muscle!  No fat!  She's ORANGE too, not a healthy tan!  NO NO NO!!  WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THESE RULES AND WHY DO WE FOLLOW THEM?  They're all so unhealthy and STUPID, not to mention soo sad.

:(

Thank goooooddness! 

I must admit, I jumped for joy when I found out Obama won.  I get that he's inexperienced, but how did the experienced become experienced anyway?  I'm tired of the old -- I want to give the new a chance.  Let's see what he can do, yes?

Plus, it pissed my friend off greatly that Virginia went BLUE. *is very excited* First time since 64!!

http://www.palinaspresident.us/

The link was just a tad bit too much fun for me.

Scary thing is...some of it's a bit too true...

Enjoy!

http://www.youtubetracks.com/

I just found this completely AMAZING website. It converts youtube tracks to mp3s I can use on itunes or elsewhere! *squeee*

On an unrelated note...

WHY does it take Fox 8 days to put up new episodes of House?  It doesnt do that with any other show; why this one? It's pissing me off. Grr.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/SPGhAxppAPI/AAAAAAAAHEg/VkGuA_5bZdI/s1600-h/mcainsface.jpg

So damn true!

That woman comes off like such a cold bitch.

Do any of you have one of these?

http://brigidville.myminicity.com/ind

and

http://brigidville.myminicity.com/


It builds population by the number of hits.  It's pretty cool to watch grow, tbh. Too much fun.

So if I'm white, I love learning about European history but have a loathing for mid-eastern history (ive taken a class that confirms that), does that make me a racist?

Because in this time in this world, I bet someone does think that.

This just makes me sick:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/18/actor.cat.cruelty.ap/index.html

That fucking douche of a man. No wonder his girlfriend preferred her kitty over him. And now the kitty's dead.

POOR THING!!!!!!! :( :(

God, I hate my jazz class. We did hip-hop stuff today and I SUCKKKKKKKK MAJORLYYYYYY at it.  Mind you, this is a beginner's class yet at the pace we're going at you'd think it wasn't.  Plus it always taking my fucking longer to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. By that time we're doing so other god awful piece of choreography which DAH DAH I dont get!  Imagine that.

If he slowed the pace at least I'd have SOME clue to what we are doing.  But no, we don't.  Dancing has always been fun for me, but this class makes me want to strangle someone.